Wednesday, June 04, 2008

May Prize Poem

Thanks to everyone for posting poems this month. The ‘tanka-like’ prompt was the most popular, and, I think, the most challenging. Finding an image that will inform the subsequent statement without exactly repeating the same idea takes a lot of thought.

There were two poems that stood out for me in this section: John Kenny’s ‘Lilac lifted’ and Charlotte Segaller’s ‘a roofless house’. Both use images that have strong emotional connections with the statement that follows: the sweet scent of spring flowers that causes sadness or grief in the heart of the narrator, and a half built house that prompts the narrator to consider her own safety.

And it’s Charlotte’s poem that I’ve chosen for the May Prize. The first three lines echo the unfinished nature of the house with the way the words knock into each other and across lines: half built, here above, inside and outside and the image of looking down on something unfinished, and having such a complete view of it (inside and outside at once), is so authentically echoed in the self-questioning. I also like the unusual line break after I’ll/ which, for me, adds an element of emotional hesitancy or trepidation to the poem

Many congratulations, Charlotte. If you email me your postal address ( I’ll put your small ‘prize’ in the post.

And here's Charlotte's poem again:

a roofless house half-built
viewed from here above
inside and outside at once
I wonder if I’ll
ever feel safe again

Charlotte Segaller


John Kenny said...

Charlotte, have to agree. That was a cracking Tanka, if that is a suitable adjective. Well done


charlotte segaller said...

Thanks John. I like the sound of a 'cracking Tanka'!