Hello everyone - many thanks to you all for contributing so enthusiastically to the haiku seminars last month.
Here are a couple I wrote during the course of the month:
early breakfast
the sweet flesh
of a freestone peach
longest day
the sound of salsa
from the beach
I think the first one needs some editing - it's not quite tight enough, not quite saying what I want it to. It could be that 'sweet flesh' is too sensuous and takes me away from the ideas behind 'early' and 'free'. Any ideas, please post them!
As last year, AppleHouse will take a break during July and August, and will probably take on a different incarnation from September.
I enjoyed the haiku seminars so much and it reminded me how teaching poetry and sharing my insights into the writing process has informed my life for so long. And I've missed that over the last year or so, since moving to Antibes and becoming an amateur builder!
What I'm planning to do is to set up an online poetry course which people will be able to subscribe to. If you think you might be interested then please let me know by emailing me at lynne@lynnerees.co.uk.
It seems that my offer of a creative 'life writing' course here in Antibes is also coming to fruition, so once again, I'll be regularly involved with other writers. I'm looking forward to it.
I hope you keep writing haiku through the summer - although the best thing is not to think about 'writing' haiku. Just take notes of the things around you, brief thoughts, memories. Then, when you have a few relaxed moments, look over them and see how they might fit together.
I'll be in touch.
Lynne
x
4 comments:
Lynne;
you invited ideas for your 'early breakfast' ku. I have been playing around with this form a little of late, and liking it. As always, much to learn. Getting behind your own ideas of 'free and early' as well as the tightness desired, exercised me for sure. But I feel will come to an end with your comment on what I've done to date.
Ready?
early breakfast
fresh heart
of a freestone peach
Maybe I am completely off beam. When I return to read your reply, I'll probably do so looking through small gaps between my fingers.
Thank you, Ramon. I still haven't resolved this haiku so I'm open for suggestions.
No need to peek through your fingers... : )
I like the connection between 'early' and 'fresh' and in a longer poem I think I'd be happy with the image of 'fresh heart'. The problem that I find with writing haiku is that because they're so small, and need to be so 'light', it's easy to over-do the imagery, try and make it work too hard, suggest too much. And, for me, 'fresh heart' might be doing that... The heart of the peach is its stone... and I already have that in the haiku. But I'll think on this some more too. Your comments have freshened my ideas towards the haiku. Thanks again.
Many thanks for explaining Lynne. Truth is, the heart I had in mind was yours, where in the middle line, I sought a link to the 'free' aspect of the stone. A sense (as can happen, sometimes inexplicably), where the gladness felt, just can't help but burst out all around, like blossoms in a good year, and so sweet.
Too much, perhaps as you say.
Hope you find the fitting phrase.
'...where the gladness felt, just can't help but burst out all around, like blossoms in a good year...'
That's lovely, Ramon. Thank you again for your feedback.
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